LOVE WINS!

For the record....my stand on the pro-life/pro-choice issue. 

I was a pregnant 14 year old (raped after years of sexual abuse) who placed a child for adoption. I was chosen to go to a place for unwed mothers where I was expected to give up my baby. There were only white girls in this place. 

While I was there it was “discovered” that two girls who were pregnant by black men. They were “dismissed”. My child was Hispanic. But, luckily someone wanted her.  My skin, my baby’s skin carried privilege.

Pregnant teens are shunned—especially by church folks. I wasn’t offered counseling—no one followed up. No one asked how a 14 yr old girl was pregnant by a 20 something man. I didn’t even call it “rape” until my daughter was 14 and a 20 something looked at her. That’s another story for another day.

I was sent back home after the baby was born—back into the trauma—just to be further traumatized. After returning home, my friends were not allowed to hang out with me. Some of my family was so disappointed that I didn’t keep the baby, they talked so bad about me that I almost couldn’t continue living. 

I went back to youth group at my church.  The leader attempted to fix me up with a guy she brought in—all of these people were new to me. He was older—maybe just graduated high school. Their plan was to get us married and get the baby back before it was too late. 

It was already too late. He became my boyfriend. That boy hit me and forced me to have sex. He once made me stay in his bedroom (in his parents home) for 3 days. I was so traumatized. The day he left I asked his mom if she would take me home. She was mortified to learn that her son was making me stay. When he came home she demanded he take me home—she didn’t drive.He did. He punched me in my face and head all the way. When I got home I was asked what I did to deserve it—“probably running your damn mouth”.

I was 15. 

I met a new guy a couple of weeks later and clung to him. At first he seemed so different. He said he loved me and would always keep me safe. He turned out to be just as abusive. I got pregnant and kept my baby—I gave birth one month before graduation. My guidance counselor told me my life was over and the only thing I should focus on was getting married and raising my child. 

No college for me. I got married. No one celebrated me or my decision to keep my child.No one came to my rescue.No one counseled or advised. I muddled through 7 years of abuse before I was able to leave.

Fast forward to being invited to a “pro-life” protest. The horrible vile things that were shouted as people drove up. It was as if my very soul was being ripped out. They saw me as one of them—I gave my baby up for adoption. I gave birth. One called me a “hero”. I’m not a hero, my child is not for a poster. I didn’t know about abortion at the time I was pregnant. I didn’t “choose” to have my baby, I didn’t know there was any other choice.

I wasn’t them. They were mean. They were hurtful.  No one attempted to embrace. No one offered grace. No one demonstrated love. 

Not. At. All. 

Over the years I have studied and observed. I learned of those who had the means had doctors to come to their homes and spare the family the embarrassment of an unplanned pregnancy. I learned about the back-alley abortions poor women endured because they lacked access to health care. I learned how the more affluent sent their daughters to relatives to have their child who was raised as a cousin or such. 

As I learned more, I saw myself. I wasn’t affluent, but I was chosen due to my skin privilege. I was poor.  My baby was my value. As I learned more, I saw them. They wanted a good story of saving this baby from her horrible future. The saviors. The paternalistic saviors who took my baby and discarded her mother.

And I keep seeing them.

I see them in politics. I see them make their speeches on their soap boxes. I see them manipulate the pain of the broken for their political power. I see them discard women and children. I see them incarcerate and felonize fathers. 

I see them. and I have felt their wrath.

They tell me that I am not a Christian because I don’t stand with them. They don’t get to tell me who I am.

They tell me that I cannot be a pastor because I am a woman. They don’t get to tell me who I am.

They tell me that I cannot be a leader because I chose ending a marriage that was destroying me. They don’t get to tell me who I am.

They tell me that I am inappropriate. They tell me that I am out of order. They tell me to stay in my place—”stay in your pulpit with your people”, I was told. They tell me to mind my business. They tell me to “watch it”.

Oh, no, Satan—YOU watch it!!

“My people” are all God’s people and my pulpit is every street corner, back alley, middle of the street, park, playground, drug house, brothel or club where hurting people gather.

My business is to shine my light in the spaces where darkness thinks it rules. My business is to compel them to come—with lovingkindness.

They thought I was them. They think I should be them. They shun me for not being them. They attempt to shame me for boldly being not them.

I’ve been shot by them. Tear gassed by them. Pepper sprayed by them. Ignored by them. “Prayed for” by them. Vilified by them—I. see. them. 

But more importantly I see you. I see you emerging. I see you shining. I see you empowering. I see you learning. I see you stretching. I see you loving.

And even more important than that…God sees. God sees them. God hears them. God knows them by name.

Be not deceived, God is not mocked. GOD IS WOKE!!! They aren’t fooling GOD!!!

God is LOVE.

The messages of hate are not God. God loves you. God loves you in the body you were birthed into and God loves you in the body you create. God loves you. 

We are NOT THEM!!! And we must never become them.

That megalomaniac imposter occupying 1600 Washington empowers them. He makes them feel justified, righteous, just. But be not deceived! God is not mocked! God is WOKE!

They have a form of godliness while denying God’s power.

We must resist allowing the evil we detest having the power to shape us into them. We must resist evil with goodness. We must overcome evil with good. We must drive out the darkness with light. We must drive out the hate with love.

The path of love is not easily traveled—but travel it anyway!

Love always wins!!